Cum uitam sa fim fericiti

Prin natura vietii mele am ajuns sa am contact cu multi oameni in cursul anilor, in toate starile si din multe categorii psihologice sau culturale. Cu cat cunosc mai multi oameni insa, cu atat imi dau seama tot mai mult ca fiecare traieste sub o patura de vreo culoare sau alta. O patura a limitari fericirii personale si a bunei stari generale.

Una dintre cele mai intalnite paturi e cea a supra rumegarii unui gand sau a unei actiunilor petrecute ori in desfasurare. Ea actioneaza de obicei ca o ancora ce opreste mintea sa evolueze si sufletul sa creasca.

Cu totii avem dificultati uneori sa acceptam implinirea unui fapt, a unui gand rostit sau a unei actiuni petrecute. In schimb alegem sa le regandim pana in ultimul amanunt si sa ne imaginam un scenariu in care totul s-ar fi putut intampla intr-un mod utopic. Dar trebuie sa intelegem ca utopia nu se poate crea in trecut si ca noi suntem mereu in present unde lucrurile s-au intamplat deja, asa ca trebuie sa le acceptam, sa le intelegem, sa invatam din ele si sa mergem inainte cu experienta accumulata sa cream alte lucruri in prezent. Din orice fel de experienta te dezvolti intr-un fel sau in altul, dar depinde de tine in ce directie vrei sa cresti pe scara evolutiei tale. Daca pot sa dau un sfat ar fi ca mereu sa alegi directia pozitiva in schimbul celei statornice si mohorate. Nu trebuie sa ne facem ganduri problematice despre lucrurile peste care nu avem puterea sa le schimbam. Why bother?

O alte patura maricica e cea sub care uitam constant cine suntem si unde trebuie sa ne fie reamintit de ce suntem in stare si ce inseamna pentru noi fericirea. In tot chaosul contemporan, in care viata se misca cu o viteza mult mai mare decat oricand, unde mereu suntem inconjurati de influente tehnice sau umane, nu ne mai gasim timp pentru noi, asa ca uitam cine suntem sau cine am fost. Rezolvarea ecuatiei e simpla: trebuie sa ne gasim timp pentru noi, in care facem ce ne dorim si in care contemplam asupra nemuriri sufletului, dar cel mai important, unde ne descoperim pe noi. Prin analiza insusirilor, gandurilor si sentimentelor proprii se pot gasi caractere marete.
Nu vei putea niciodata sa intelegi ce vrei cu adevarat in viata daca nu ajungi inainte sa te cunosti pe tine deplin. Dar trebuie sa afli asta suflet fain care esti, asa ca fa-ti timp pentru tine!

Vad cum lumea isi strica buna dispozitie pentru intamplari marunte si isi creaza prin asta gandiri ce ii enerveaza ca tantarul ce a impuscat pe armasar. La volan injuram, cand stam la coada ne indispunem, in autobus, la magazin, acasa…ne enervam peste tot.
Intr-o gandire mai sucita asta imi demonstreaza totusi ca lumea inca e foarte optimista. Ca atunci cand ceva merge prost, nu ne enervam ca a mers prost ci ne enervam ca nu a mers in felul in care ne-am imaginat noi ca ar trebui; in sensul ca noi initial aveam optimismul ca va merge bine si totul va decurge comform planului nostru, ne supara dezamagirea ce vine cu contrariul insa.

Intr-un paradox mare, poate pentru a fi mai fericiti ar trebui sa fim putin mai pesimisti sau pragmatici si sa nu avem atatea asteptari despre tot ce nu putem controla. Suna ciudat, dar nu este. O parere ce mi-am facut despre portugezi e ca infrunta viata neavand asteptari prea mari iar daca ceva se intampla in felul dorit, e motiv de bucurie, dar daca o ia insa pe cealalta parte il accepta mai benevol pentru ca nu aveau asteptari prea ridicate initial, ceea ce face ca ceaiul amar sa fie mai usor de baut. Un fel de ‘carpe diem’ traznit, traieste momentul daca e bun si uita de cel rau.

Trebuie sa ne amintim mereu sa fim fericiti si sa invatam cum sa ne gasim linistea, cum sa sustinem gandurile pozitive si cum sa avem o viata pe placul nostru. In majoritatea cazurilor, fericirea vine doar din mintea noastra, este o stare de spirit care are nevoie de ingrijire si afectiune constant. Trebuie sa avem grija de ea!

Cartea ‘Omii-lor’

Posed o carte ce o citesc mereu cu acelasi entuziasm. Sta pe un piedestal intr-o vitrina de gala la mine in piept. E intr-o camera frumoasa, luminata cu raze de soare calde si mladioase, cu o usa mare cu deschidere directa la inima mea.
E cartea memorilor a unor timpuri incarcate de dragoste si familie, de oameni frumosi si vamaioti, de un intreg format din oameni cat se poate de diferiti si a unui loc unde am prins viata timpuriu.

Cand deschid marea carte, vad mai multe carti ce se astern in fata mea ca o colectie inestimabila. Acele carti nu au numere sau vreo ordine, sunt toate la fel dar toate sunt in intregime diferite. Sunt cartile lor. A omenilor frumosi si vamaioti ce formeaza un intreg. Acei oameni care m-au invatat, cum sa ii invat ce inseamna prietenia. Sunt ei, suntem noi. Cei ce ne-am ales, fara a fi vreodata nevoie sa alegem.
Cei cu care am zburdat din anii copilariei pana cand am ajuns sa ne credem oameni mari ce fac copilari, cand inca mergem sa visam sub apa.
Am tras mereu hamurile fericiri peste tot unde ne-am dus si zambetele fetelor luminate niciodata nu au incetat sa fuga dupa noi si dese ori sa ne si intreaca.

Inca se aude ecoul vocilor noastre ce strigau la unisol, printre lacrimi turmentate, ca prieteni moka mereu vom fi, ca nu vom mai infrunta niciodata vara calda si iarna rece in solitudine, ca problemele unitare sunt acum ale tuturor si ca daca vine la oricare dintre noi tristetea in vizita, vom merge toti sa o bombardam cu zambete, dragoste si voie buna, pana pleaca.

Fie ca suntem in amurg de seara sau in dimineata tarzie, nu am incetat niciodata sa fim impreuna si chiar daca drumurile dezvoltarii si a ambitiei ne-au adus uneori la bifurcatii, distanta ce am pus-o intre noi e doar pe harta, niciodata in suflet.

Am format in jurul cartii un cerc al prieteniei pe care l-am legat cu credinta ca nu poate fi rupt nicidoata. Pana acum nu ne-a fost dovedit contrariu.

Cartea are multe pagini scrise despre noi. Despre momente, trairi, mari negre, corsari prietenosi, nopti nedormite, cabane, cantece, petreceri, un dulap, baluri, discutii, broscute, majorate, cisnadioare, iertari in iarba, timpuri bune, dragoste, prietenie si multe altele. Dar cand se scriu pagini cartea creste tot mai mare fara a ajunge vreodata la un final. Ea nu are un sfarsit sau un inceput, are doar continut si o pagina epilog pe care scrie “eternitate”.

Cand e rasfoita cartea noastra se aude clar ca o simfonie, balada ‘omii-lor’ care au devenit prieteni si a prietenilor care au devenit frati.

Every cloud has a silver lining

 

Your soul doesn’t get bigger as you get older. It looses size, but maybe wins quality.
Every time you meet someone you put a piece aside for that person and every moment you spend together or every word that you are addressing, goes to that little piece of yours.
When the time comes to say goodbye and to go on separate roads, she or he takes it with them. A little piece of you, a little piece of your petite soul.

You are feeling as it tears apart from yourself, slowly and prolonged sometimes or quick and abrupt with other occasions, but even though it’s sad, it’s not a painful rupture. It’s as if you know that it’s going to a good place and you feel that it will have a better usage in its new home. Let them take it, don’t oppose!

Maybe it is the only thing they need to grow or to evolve in life and perhaps the things they’ve learned from you and from your little part, brings them closer to being complete.
Sometimes it can be a little wisdom they take from you, a vivid account of friendship or perhaps just pure love and the being-there feeling is what they choose to put in their luggage when the time for departure and for going further on their road comes.
You cannot judge it, since you also took your share from them and from many others.
Your soul is a mosaic of small pieces, taken from all that are or were in your life journey.

So piece by piece; part by part you give and you take. That is your duty, to grow and to share, but most important, to learn from all the social interactions with the people we touch or which touched our soul in one way or the other, making it smaller and bigger, fuller and complete.

 

gtg

One night stands and other disasters

Everybody has it in it’s own way, let it be quick, long, powerful, gentle, animalistic, inspired, flexible, tantric or just savagely. We all like one night stands in all their forms and shapes, with all the pleasurable and teasing events that bring us to bed.

Sometimes however, we become selfish and forget to think about that gorgeous face next to us.
We tend to go for the short 50 meters win and forget that an athlete is getting warmed up only after a few stadium laps. We tend to ignore the truth, that the best experiences are made in two.

Sex is not all about fucking or about that fleshy lust with which we have to live every day. Sex is about the two people that let themselves be consumed by the ardent flame of passion. Sex is all about feeling that flame which burns the body and warms the soul.

So let it burn yours and go touch her body with all the experience that you had before her, but with the excitement of touching a woman’s body for the first time. With her yearning shapes, her soft skin and her graceful hair.

You should put all the passion that you poses into it, feeling that all your past experiences prepared you for that night. Make her feel as she should. Beautiful. Sexy. Powerful. Dominant. Humble.
Treat her as the princess that she was in public and as the lioness that she is in bed.

Be the man she dreamed of. The confident and well spoken bastard. The crazy and lovely animal.

Kiss her beautiful lips as if those are the last ones that you’ll ever touch and as if that kiss would last forever. Kiss her as if you run out of oxygen and kissing her is the only thing keeping you alive. Play with her lips and kiss her good. Kiss everything.

Don’t fake all this, but feel it. People are finding love at first sight sometimes and that makes them leave for home together. It happens.
If you are not that lucky however, just look in the mirror of her soul, look in the depth of her eyes. Look deep and long; you’ll see the perfection of the moment. You’ll see how everything around you becomes numb and how you’re just living for that unequalled moment. See it clearly, feel it totally and love it, she will do same.

Make her feel unique. Make her feel loved. Make her remember you in that moment.

Touch her skin and kiss it gently after you’re done. Take and hold her in your arms while you sleep. She will like it and you will do the same.

Do all this and you won’t be “that guy that I had a one night stand with”. You will be remembered as “the guy from that incredible night”. Maybe she’s coming back. Maybe she doesn’t. Maybe love is born from the moment that lives in eternity in your eyes. Maybe…

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